*Now that I’m not on an hiking adventure I’ll be posting once a week on Sunday’s.*
Ram is gone, on his way back to Israel. When we said good bye I made him promise we’d see each other in two months. We’re not sure who will visit who but we’ll figure that out when it gets closer. If I know we’ll see each other in no more than two months, I can be more relaxed. But, currently I’m in shock. It hasn’t yet sank in that a new era of apart, has begun.
I noticed my bathroom smells like Ram’s cologne, that is a future heart hazard, it already made me frown and whimper to myself. The little things become so significant. A gift, a note, his clothes, his smell, they can all fill me with great love or fill me with great pain.
I must admit these times aren’t ALL bad. When Ram and I are apart I go crazy planning things to keep myself busy. I get to focus on myself. I get to do everything exactly how I want, when I want and where I want. It’s really nice but, I still rather have Ram here. Anyways, with my time, one thing I’ll do is read. I’ve been wanting to get more into reading for a long long time and now I’ll be more focused. I’ve been meaning to read so many books… Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Count of Monte Cristo, Harry Potter, Dexter, Moby Dick, Ghost Boy, Chronicles of Narnia, Siddhartha, American Sniper, to name a few. Right now I’m reading “To Kill a Mocking Bird”. I started it before the Colorado Trail and now I’m about halfway. I want to finish it by next weekend.
I’m also going to start jogging again. I did a half marathon a couple years ago and I’m thinking of doing a whole one this coming spring. I know it takes a lot of training! It’s a big commitment. My brother Seth recommend a site for training programs and one is for really really beginners, I mean 1.5 miles the first day. It’s a 30 week marathon training schedule so I’d be in marathon shape around April which is perfect. My feet are still recovering from the trail and I haven’t jogged in a LONG time so I want to start really slow.
This Tuesday I’m going back to work a the Heart Center! Now I’ll HAVE to actually leave my room… I’m really grateful, they’ve been really awesome! I’ve left and came back twice already. They say they have four weeks of full time work for me, probably more. It sounds like I’ll be doing something different than what I’d done in the past. So I’m a little nervous about that.
Change is good, but not so much while it’s happening… it’s usually really uncomfortable. My life is so full of change and sometimes it’s overwhelming and exhausting but I wouldn’t feel alive without it.