Husband in a box

Six weeks down and four to go! I’m finally on the downhill! Phew! I also only have two weeks left of work!!! I’m so relieved!!! Wahoo! 

I took a week and a half off running because my ankles and knee have been bothering me. I got a gym membership so I’m going to start doing something there. Not sure what yet. I really miss lifting weights so I’m thinking a combo of jogging and lifting. I’ve also been meditating 15 min a night for a week. I defiantly feel less stressed.  

I started reading Ghost Boy! I’ve been wanting to read it for a long time! My brother had a copy that got passed around the family but no one could seem to find it. It became a Ghost Book! Anyways, I finally bought a copy and read 50 pages as soon as I opened it. It is so good! I highly recommend it. Okay so maybe it’s too soon to say that but so far it is captivating, fascinating and intriguing. 
When the author Martin was twelve he comes down with an unknown neurological illness. Over two years his body and mind slowly deteriorate until he is a mute quadriplegic believed to be brain dead. For years he is completely unaware and unseeing. But by some miracle he slowly becomes aware again and no one notices. No one notices for ten years. He can’t talk or control his hands enough to signal. All he can do is move his head to one side, smile, and move his eyes. No one notices his subtle attempts to communicate and he responds “I’d been put into a box… Boxes make us easier to understand, but they also imprison us because people don’t see past them.” 

When I read Martins response it was like a slap in the face, I gasped “oh my god, I’ve put Ram into a box!” It struck right to my heart. Ram and I had a big fight that lasted all week and I was on a mission to be furious for as long as possible. Ram was in a box that was based off of misunderstandings and unfinished conversations. It was like a slap in the face saying “wake up damnit!” I was creating a fake person who only caused me pain, so I didn’t see his pain or his love. I wasn’t seeing Ram, I was seeing an illusion. 

It has happened to me; people putting me into a box. It can be extremely frustrating and irritating. Sometimes it can feel impossible to communicate with someone who’s put you into a box because no matter what you say or do it never gets across. I try not to do it to others but I do some or I’d have no security in any relationship. If I didn’t categories people to some degree why would I be their friend or marry them? I believe general categorizing is appropriate in relationships but a ridged box is a hindrance to discovery. 

If you take your partner, family member, college or friend out of a box maybe you’ll see something you never did before. Maybe you’ve been living with an illusion about someone. Maybe you’ve changed but no one can see it because you’ve been stuck into a box. An impenetrable box. 


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