I want to live my life with synchronicity. I don’t want to force a certain outcome. So I listen to hints and signs to help guide me. The hardest thing with living this way is the uncertainty and needed patience.
For example last week I mentioned that the National Visa Center hadn’t given Ram or I any responses. It has been over nine weeks since we sent the documents and over three since I e-mailed them. So this week I decided to gathered all the documents again; which is a huge production gathering/coping every public record on me and Ram, including “original” affidavits of support from my brother and I. After I went over the mile high stack of papers again and again, and again to make sure we had EVERYTHING perfect, we sent them off overseas, for another pretty penny.
The next evening I got an e-mail for the NVC saying they got our (first set of) documents. Ah man! They wrote “We are experiencing a high volume of incoming mail at this time. Please allow up to six weeks from the date we received your mail for the NVC to review your documents”. So I don’t know if that means six weeks from when the postal service dropped it off (nine weeks ago) or from now because they’re saying they’ve received it? I’m guessing it means six weeks from now.
If I was patient for one more day I would have gotten that e-mail and avoided wasting copies, money and time. What’s more irritating is I didn’t feel like we NEEDED to send the documents again but I did anyways because I figured it was the “adult” thing to do. I even thought to myself “as soon as we send these, I’ll get an e-mail saying they received the first ones” and I was right. It’s hard to listen to myself with so much noise and fear from the uncertainty.
On a lighter note…
This week I started using Rosetta Stone! I always wanted to try their programs but never did because I didn’t want to spend several hundred dollars but, now you can just subscribe! I subscribed for three months for about fifty dollars and have access to all of their Hebrew lessons, activities, games, and tutoring. The lessons include grammar, vocabulary, listening, pronunciation and speaking. So far I really like it!
I believe I’ll enjoy living in Israel a lot more if I know Hebrew. I also want to learn because it’s my HUSBANDS native language, I mean c’mon! I feel a little ridiculous not knowing. Right now, he has a secret language! Not cool, not cool.
Back to patience… learning Hebrew will take a lot of it. I need to have patience with myself and with the process. Sadly I can’t learn Hebrew overnight…
Breath in, breath out
Ah, serenity now
I want control. I want to know exactly what’s going to happen next. I don’t want to wait to find out. It’s scary not having a destination. One of the greatest things about through hiking is you always have a destination.
By definition patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.
Wow, I don’t think I know anyone who’s the definition patient.